


Lost Time

by JuliaM (seshat0120)



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Gen, Magnificent Seven AU: ATF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25742437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seshat0120/pseuds/JuliaM
Summary: Ezra's been missing for over a month when he  mysteriously shows up.  Partial amnesia has robbed him of the memories of his disappearance as well as the events leading up to it.  It's up too the others to help him regain his memories and figure out if his disappearance is related to a current case.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was previously part of my "Collection of Plot Bunny" fic (since deleted). I've cleaned it up some and have added to it.

Ezra had been missing just over a month when he was found cowering in a corner of the parking garage at the federal building. Other than Josiah, he’d shied away from his teammates when they approached him. Josiah was the only one he seemed to have the faintest recognition of. Even if he didn’t know his name or who he was, he seemed to know on some instinctual level that he could trust him, and he’d protect him.

He’d been whisked away to the hospital where he’d been diagnosed with a mild concussion, numerous lacerations, contusions, and a fractured left wrist. He was also dehydrated and had lost too much weight in too short a time for it to be healthy. Based on his physical condition, it was obvious he’d been beaten and deprived of food and water. In addition, lab tests also found the presence of an unknown drug in his system. No one knew what it was or what it did, but there was speculation it had something to do with his memory loss.

Gradually, over the next two days, he regained most of his memories. The notable exception was the time that he’d been missing and the case he’d been working on.

He’d been working undercover for two months trying to find information that would lead to the arrest of Anton MacDougall, a known arms dealer moving into the Denver area. Everyone strongly suspected that MacDougall had identified Ezra as an ATF agent and that’s what had led to his disappearance. Confirmation of who Ezra’s abductor was as well as any recently information that was not in his case files rested with Ezra regaining his memory.

He was released from the hospital after two days and it was agreed he’d continue his recovery at Chris’s ranch. They were all cautioned by the doctors who were treating Ezra that it wouldn’t be wise to push for the lost memories. At this point, they weren’t sure if it was the concussion, the drugs, emotional trauma, or some combination of the three that was causing the amnesia. The advice didn’t sit well with Chris. Someone had taken his man and he wanted to know who and why. They didn’t even know if Ezra had been let go or if he had escaped and was still in danger. Hence the reason they’d taken him to the ranch.

The third day after his release from the hospital, the rest of the seven sat gathered around the kitchen table while Ezra rested in what had become “his room.” They tried to figure out where to go with the MacDougall case as well as what they could do to help Ezra regain his memory. Each of the six had their own ideas and the discussion sometimes got heated and loud.

“Keep it down or you’re going to wake Ezra. You heard the doctor say he needs rest.” Nathan cautioned for the second time in the last hour. He pushed his chair back and got up. “I better go check on him.”

The other five looked properly chastised and, although the conversation continued while Nathan was gone, it was at a much lower volume.

A minute later, Nathan was back in the kitchen. “He’s gone and the window in the room is open.”

“Damn it,” Chris exclaimed getting up. “Let’s start looking for him.”

“You don’t think MacDougall...or whoever...could have grabbed him again,” JD suggested.

“We would have heard something,” Buck said then grabbed JD by the arm. “C’mon, we’ll check the stables.”

“Vin and I will check around outside,” Chris said. “Josiah, you and Nathan check in here. Maybe he’s just hiding.” As he and Vin grabbed coats and headed out, he mumbled, “I swear to God I really am going to microchip him one of these days.”

They spent the next fifteen minutes searching around the house and property for the missing man with no sign of him. “Anything?” Nathan asked as he and Josiah came out of the house.

Chris was just about to say they hadn’t had any luck either when Vin interrupted him as he pointed up at the roof of the house. “Found him.”

Chris followed Vin’s pointing and saw Ezra. “Son of a bitch.” He started to yell out to Ezra, but Vin stopped him.

“He’s been skittish enough,” Vin pointed out. “You go yelling at him now and he’s liable to fall.”

“I’m liable to wring his damned fool neck,” Chris ground out.

“The man does like to climb,” Buck observed as he and JD came out of the barn and walked over to where Chris and Vin were standing. Nathan and Josiah also came over and the six of them stood looking up at the man on the roof who didn’t seem to notice them.

“You’re about the only one he’s let near him without panicking, Josiah,” Chris said after a moment. “You better go up there and get him down. There’s a trap door in the attic.”

Moments later, Josiah was pushing open the trap door that led out to the roof. As close as it was to where Ezra was sitting, it was likely that’s how he’d gotten out there and not through the open window. Knowing Ezra as well as he did, he guessed he’d opened it to throw them off in their search. “Ezra,” he called softly. “Mind if I come out there with you?”

Ezra didn’t bother to turn, just shrugged one shoulder in answer to the question.

Josiah put the blanket he’d brought with him out on the roof then climbed through the door. Picking the blanket back up, he made his way gingerly over to where Ezra was sitting and settled beside him. “Bit cold to be sitting outside, don’t you think?” he made sure to keep his voice soft so as not to startle the other man.

Ezra sat with his knees bent and his bare feet pressed against the roof with his arms wrapped around his body. He wore just the t-shirt and track pants he’d been wearing when he fell asleep. As a particularly stiff breeze blew, he shivered and curled his toes against the cold roof. “My feet are chilly,” he murmured.

Josiah nodded thoughtfully. “Being outside barefoot in December will do that to you.” He held the blanket out so Ezra could see it and, getting a small nod from the other man, shook it out and wrapped it around him. “What brings you out onto the roof. Thought you’d like being in the warm house better.”

“Was too loud,” Ezra answered in a whisper. He didn’t take his eyes off the distant view of the mountains.

“Yes, our brothers can get a bit loud,” Josiah agreed as he also looked off in the same direction Ezra was looking. “You picked a might pretty view.”

Ezra glanced over at Josiah for no more than a second then turned back to the mountains. It was long enough for Josiah to see the sadness and confusion that lurked in the younger man’s green eyes.

“Peaceful,” Ezra said again in a voice no louder than a whisper before he again turned to Josiah. “I’m not lying Josiah. I don’t remember anything. I’d tell you if I did.”

“I know, son.” Josiah put his hand on Ezra’s back and began rubbing gently. He could feel the shivering and trembling through the blanket.

Ezra began shaking his head. “Chris doesn’t. He’s angry with me...thinks I’m holding something back. I’m not, Josiah. I’m not.” His voice became strident and Josiah feared he’d slip from the roof if he didn’t calm down.

“It’s ok, Ezra. Chris knows,” the older man soothed. Although Ezra never said it, Josiah knew how much he craved approval from their team leader. “We all know. It’s ok.” Gradually, Ezra stopped wildly shaking his head and calmed. He leaned more into the hand rubbing his back. When he did, Josiah moved closer and put an arm around his shoulders and felt Ezra slump against him. He gave him a few more moments to calm down then suggested, “How ‘bout if we go inside now and get you warmed up?” A silent nod was his only answer.

The two men carefully made their way back to the trap door that led to the attic where Nathan and Chris were waiting for them as they climbed in. As soon as he saw the two men, Ezra backed away until he bumped into Josiah.

Josiah braced his hands against Ezra’s shoulders both to prevent him from retreating anymore and to offer him some comfort. “Ezra’s feeling a bit chilled. Maybe you fellas can head back downstairs and make some tea. We’ll be down in a bit,” he suggested. Seeing the questioning look Nathan shot him, he shook his head slightly indicating there were no new injuries.

“I’ll get you some socks, too,” Chris offered seeing Ezra’s bare feet.

Once the two men had left, Ezra visibly slumped back into Josiah. “I know they’re not going to hurt me,” he said softly. “But I…” he trailed off with a small shrug.

“They understand, Ezra. We all do,” Josiah assured him. “You’ve been through a lot and you need some time to get your balance back.”

Ezra blew out a soft breath and shook his head slightly. “We don’t know what I’ve been through,” he pointed out. “Because I can’t seem to get past this damned block in my memory. Maybe...maybe it was all my fault. Have you thought of that?” he challenged.

“You starved yourself? Deprived yourself of water? You beat yourself? Or maybe you’re a drug addict and you’ve been keeping it a secret,” Josiah challenged back in a deliberately sharp voice. When he saw his friend’s eyes widen in shock and, maybe some fear, he softened his voice and once more grasped Ezra’s blanket covered shoulders. “There is nothing you could do that that would make any of that your fault.” He gave the other man a little shake. “Nothing. We will get to the bottom of this and we will find out who did this to you. You’ve got to trust us. Can you do that.”

Ezra stared into Josiah’s eyes for a few moments. Trust was something that had never come easy for him. He’d been let down too many times in his life when he’d made the mistake of trusting the wrong person. He’d been learning to trust his teammates, but it was a slow process. Especially when, sometimes, he wasn’t sure how much they trusted him. I he had to admit it, though, it had been quite some time since anyone had looked at him with that certain tilt of the head that seemed to ask if he could be trusted. If he wanted his teammates...his friends...to trust him, it was only fair that he trust them in return. “I can,” he said softly.

“Good man,” Josiah said then started to lead Ezra to the “his” room. He could feel him trembling ever so slightly under the blanket that was still wrapped around him and wanted to get him warmed up and resting again.

“I’m not an invalid” Ezra protested as Josiah led him back to the bed.

“I know you’re not, but you’re supposed to be resting. I’m not sure jaunts on the roof qualify.” Josiah unwrapped the blanket from around Ezra and encouraged him back into bed then pulled the blankets up around him. “Try to get some sleep,” he admonished as he left the room.

As he pulled the door closed behind him, he saw Chris coming toward him holding a mug and a plate of toast.

“Thought he might want a little something to eat,” Chris said as he held the items out to Josiah.

“You need to talk to him,” Josiah said without taking either the mug or plate. He’s got it in his head that you…that we all…think he remembers what happened and he’s covering something up.

“That’s ridiculous,” Chris loudly said before Josiah motioned for him to keep his voice down. “That ridiculous,” he repeated. “I hope you straightened him out.”

“I tried to tell him, and he said he believes me but…he needs to hear it from you.” Josiah hoped that Chris would understand what he was trying to tell him. However, seeing confusion on the other man’s face, he doubted it was clicking.

“Me? What’s the difference between you or me telling him that?”

Josiah shook his head slightly. As he’d expected, Chris wasn’t able to see what was right in front of him. “He respects you…probably more than he does the rest of us…and he’s afraid of losing your respect – your trust.” At the continued look of confusion on his team leader’s face, Josiah continued to explain. “You knew about the rumors from Atlanta but, despite that, you were still willing to take a chance on him and bring him out here.”

“Those rumors are a bunch of bull.” Chris had started raising his voice again but quickly lowered it at Josiah’s raised eyebrows. “You know as much as the rest of us that all the rumors are a bunch of crap. Ezra’s no more a dirty cop than you or me. I’d’ve been nuts not to bring him out here. He’s the best at his job.”

“I know that, and you know that…and for the most part, so does he…but this is one of those times that knowing isn’t enough. He needs to hear it. Talk with him.”

“Ok. Ok,” Chris agreed. “I’ll talk with him.” Again, he tried to hand Josiah the plate and mug and, again, Josiah refused to take them.

“Now might be an appropriate time,” Josiah said before dodging around Chris and going back out to the living room.

Chris watched Josiah leave and shook his head slightly. He was supposed to be the team leader...the one in charge, but somehow he often found the others led just as much. He nudged the door to the Ezra’s room open with his foot and stuck his head in. “Ezra,” he called softly. Since the Ezra was lying with his back to the door, he was uable to see if he were sleeping and didn’t want to wake him if he were.

Ezra slowly rolled over, so he was facing Chris. “I’m awake.”

Chris came into the room and nudged the door shut with his foot to give them some privacy. He walked over to the bed and set the mug and plate of toast down on the nightstand. As Ezra started to push up to sit, he leaned over him to bunch the pillows behind his back. Once Ezra was settled, he sat on the edge of the bed and handed him the mug of tea.

“Thank you,” Ezra said as he accepted the mug and took a small sip.

“I brought you some toast in case you were hungry.” Chris got up from the bed and started pacing. If Josiah was right, and he didn’t have any cause to doubt him, he had to say something. He just didn’t know how to begin.

“Is there a problem, Mr. Larabee?” Ezra asked after watching Chris pace for a few seconds. “I’m sure you’re upset that I went outside without letting anyone know.” He set the mug by the plate of toast. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to cause you or the others any undue worry.”

“Stop it, Ezra,” Chris said suddenly. He was having a hard time with this version of Ezra who was so tentative...so afraid of doing anything to upset anyone else. He held up a hand to stop Ezra when it looked like he was going to apologize again. “No. I’m the one who should be apologizing.” He sat down on the side of the bed again. “If I’ve said or done anything that’s made you think that I think you’re covering something up or that your memory loss isn’t real, I’m sorry.”

“I’ve done my best, Chris. I’ve tried and tried but I just can’t remember. If I knew anything, you know I’d tell you.”

Chris did his best to hold back a sigh. He’d hoped Josiah had been wrong, but he had the living proof in front of him. “Hey. Stop!” he said softly but authoritatively. He didn’t hold back the sigh when Ezra froze like a deer in headlights. He should have insisted Josiah be the one to talk to Ezra...or at least that he’d stayed. Chris had never been a touchy-feely person. It left him feeling out of his element, but he had no choice. He’d better make it his element, or they risked losing Ezra. Of that, he was sure.

“I want you to listen to me very carefully.” When Ezra looked as if he were going to talk, Chris held up his hand and shushed him. “I know it’s a hard concept for you, Ezra, but right now I want you to give your mouth a rest and just listen. Ok?” He waited until Ezra nodded his agreement. “Good. The first thing you need to know is that I don’t think you’re lying about not being able to remember and neither do the others. If any of us have seemed frustrated and angry, it’s because this happened to you at all. I’d love for you to remember everything that happened so I can find the bastard that did this to you and personally shove his head up his ass. If I’ve seemed angry, that’s why. It has nothing to do with you. Do you understand?”

Again, Ezra nodded slightly, but he didn’t raise his gaze from his lap. Although he was nodding, Chris wasn’t sure he was getting through to him. He put his curled index finger under his friend’s chin and gently raised his head. Chris held back another sigh when he saw the depths of sadness and unease in his friend’s eyes. Ezra was usually so sure himself...confident and, some might say, cocky. Now, he looked so young and frightened. Chris found he had to resist patting him on the head and telling him he’d take care of everything. “Aw, Ezra. What do I have to do to make you believe me? Throw me a bone here.”

“I heard you and the others,” Ezra said tentatively. “You sounded quite upset.”

“Before you decided to pull a Houdini out to the roof? Yeah, we were upset. Because we all want to make this right for you. We all want to find the bastard who did this to you and make him pay. You know none of us like to just sit on our hands and wait. That’s our problem, though. It’s not yours and you shouldn’t feel like it is. **I** apologize, Ezra. **I’m** the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have let things get this far.” This time, Chris didn’t try to hold back the sigh. “Do you know why I wanted you on my team?”

“Because I’m the best undercover man you’ll find.” 

“Damned straight,” Chris answered with a smile. He’d seen the spark of Ezra’s usual spirit and bravado in his answer. He might have been beaten but he was by no means down for the count. “Do you know why I keep you around?”

“Because I’m the best undercover man you’ll find?” This time, the trepidation and wariness were back in Ezra’s voice and posture. He slumped down and wrapped his arms around himself as he once more looked down at his lap.

Chris shook his head slightly. Ripped of all his defenses, it was so easy now to see how much Ezra second-guessed his place on the team. This was what Josiah was talking about. Again, he tilted Ezra’s head up so he could see his eyes. “That’s why I wanted you on the team. I keep you on it because I know I can trust you...we all trust you...to have our backs and get the job done. You’re on this team because you’ve got good instincts and you bust your ass on every case. You’re a valuable member of the team. You’re one of us, Ezra, and don’t you ever forget it. Am I clear?”

Ezra locked his gaze with Chris’s for what may have only been seconds but felt more like hours before he shallowly nodded. “I understand, Mr. Larrabee.” He broke eye contact with Chris and glanced down again as he chewed on his lower lip. “Sometimes, it feels like it’s right there in the corner of my memory. I try to grab hold but…” He shrugged and held his hands palm up. “It just slithers away from me. If I just knew how to grab hold of the memories.”

“Maybe,” Chris suggested, “You should stop trying to grab hold of them. Stop trying to force it and just let it come.”

“Perhaps,” Ezra agreed.

“Hey, it’s worth a try.” Chris picked up the mug of tea and handed it back to Ezra. He could see the younger man was just a little more at ease than he had been before they started talking. “Why don’t you drink that. It hasn’t gotten too cold.” He looked at the plate of toast. The butter had congealed on it making it look unappetizing. “I can get you some more toast if you want.”

Ezra took a few sips of the tea then handed the mug back. “I’m not very hungry right now.” He tried to stifle a yawn to no avail. “Perhaps later.”

Chris put the mug back down on nightstand and helped Ezra to settle back in bed. He pulled the blankets up and tucked them in around his shoulders. “Try to get a little sleep. I’ll make sure the others keep it down.” He picked up the mug and toast and started to leave the room. When he was in the hall, he looked back at the partially closed door. “We’re going to get you through this,” he vowed in a whisper.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who have read the first chapter, there was a small change. Instead of Ezra being missing for 10 days, I've changed it to a month.

Ezra slept for a while but awakened in time to have dinner with the others. Since no one wanted to bother with cooking, they took the easy way out and ordered pizzas. As was usual for the men, they ordered several pizzas with a variety of toppings.

Ezra picked at his dinner and although the others wanted to encourage him to eat more, they held back. Since they’d found him, he’d had a reticence to eat no matter how hungry he was. The psychologist who’d who’d been brought in while Ezra was in the hospital had suggested that in the time he was missing, his access to food may have been highly controlled. Although he couldn’t remember what had happened, it could still be playing a part in how he was acting. She had told them it was best not to force the issue with him as long as he was getting enough calories throughout the day.

Not long after dinner, Chris sent the others home except for Josiah. They all argued different reasons to stay the night, but he was firm. Ezra’s comfort level with all of them may have been returning, but Chris had seen that the longer dinner lasted, the more stressed Ezra was becoming. Having the other four men staying at the ranch overnight would likely increase that stress.

Chris pointed out that they were still working a case and they were expected in the office the next day while he and Josiah stayed at the ranch with Ezra. Out of Ezra’s hearing, he reminded them of the possibility that their friend may never regain his missing memories. If they were ever going to find out what had happened to him and make sure whomever was responsible was brought to justice, they had to continue the investigation. It was that reminder that finally swayed Vin, Buck, JD, and Nathan to leave.

Once the four men were gone, Josiah and Chris started to clean up the remains of dinner. They both encouraged Ezra to go into the living room and relax but he insisted on helping as well.

“What would you like me to do with the leftovers,” Ezra asked as he flipped the lids up on the different pizza boxes to see what was left. Several of the pizzas had been completely eaten but there was still nearly half a pizza remaining if the various toppings were combined.

“There should be room in the fridge if you stick in it one box,” Chris said as he gathered up the glasses they’d used and brought them to the sink. “Might make a good breakfast for tomorrow.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Ezra asked as he transferred all the slices into one box and carried it to the refrigerator. He had to move a few things around to make room for it.

“You’ve never had cold pizza for breakfast?” Josiah asked as he gathered up the empty boxes to take out to the recycling.

Ezra started to answer but then stopped. “I don’t believe so,” he said uncertainly as he wondered if there were other parts of his memory he may have lost and didn’t know about until now.

Josiah caught Ezra’s hesitancy and uncertainty but wasn’t sure what caused it. “Don’t worry, son, Chris and I’ll introduce you to that culinary delight tomorrow.”

Ezra tamped down on his uncertainty and turned to Josiah with a smirk. “Something to look forward to,” he snarked. He looked around the kitchen and saw that there was no more cleanup left. “If you gentlemen don’t mind, I think I’ll retire to my room now. I’m still feeling fatigued.”

“You need any help getting ready for bed?” Chris asked.

“Mr. Larabee, I’ve been dressing myself from an incredibly young age. I assure you I can handle putting on my sleeping attire just fine without assistance.”

Chris pointed to the cast on Ezra’s left wrist. “I just thought that might make it a little tough for you, that’s all.”

Ezra looked down to the cast on his wrist chagrined that he’d forgotten about it for just a moment. “Oh. I...uh...thank you for the offer but I think I can manage.”

“Suit yourself,” Chris said with a short nod. “Just give a shout if you need some help.”

Josiah waited until Ezra had left the kitchen and he heard the door to Ezra’s room close. “You talk to him?”

“I did.” Chris kept his attention on the plate he was washing. “You were right,” he mumbled just loud enough for Josiah to hear.

Josiah picked up a towel and started drying the dishes Chris was washing. “He hides it well, but he carries a lot more burdens than any of us have guessed. I take it you set him straight?”

“As well as I could. Like you said, he hides a lot of stuff.” He pulled the plug to let the water out, dried his hands on another towel and turned to lean back against the sink. “I know he’s made his peace with Maude and she’s been a lot better but...she really did screw him up whether she meant to or not. I get the feeling he’s afraid we’re going to decide he’s not worth keeping around if he can’t give us what he thinks we want or expect.”

Josiah put down the dishtowel and mimicked Chris’s posture leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. “Underneath his bravado and self-sufficiency, there’s still a little boy who just wants to be wanted by someone. He can usually do a good job of keeping anyone from seeing that but whatever happened this last month robbed him of that.”

“And it’s up to us to make him feel wanted.”

“No,” Josiah said as he slapped Chris on the shoulder and moved away. “We already do that. It’s up to us to make sure he knows it.”

M7 M7 M7 M7 M7 M7 M7

The room was dark and quiet when Ezra woke. He stayed still for a moment trying to gauge if anyone else in the house was up and about. When he didn’t hear anything, he turned to see what time it was. 3:47 shown in bright red from the bedside alarm clock. It felt like he’d slept the night through but there was still a lot of it left. He attributed it to going to bed early – something

He lay still for a moment trying to figure out what had woken him up at this ungodly hour. He didn’t have to wait long for the answer when his stomach gurgled. He was hungry.

He rolled back over, snuggling under the comforter, and tried to ignore the feeling of hunger at least until it was a decent hour to get out of bed. Unfortunately, his stomach didn’t get the message.

With an irritated sigh, he threw back the covers and sat up on the edge of the bed feeling for his slippers. If he recalled correctly, there were still a few slices of the eggplant, mushroom, and prosciutto pizza he favored. He might not remember eating cold pizza for breakfast but that didn’t mean he didn’t remember eating cold pizza in the middle of the night.

He made his way out to the kitchen as quietly as he could. Once in the kitchen, he stumbled over a chair that hadn’t been put back quite right under the table. It made a horrible shrieking sound as it moved across the floor and he raised a finger to his lips to shush it then laughed at himself for shushing an inanimate object.

The box with the remaining slices of pizza was still on the same shelf of the refrigerator where he’d put it when he was helping Chris and Josiah with the cleanup. He opened it and found a slice of his desired pizza and pulled it out. He was just ready to take a bit out of it when he heard a voice behind him calling his name.

His breath caught as he dropped the pizza and whirled around. He could barely make out another figure in the gloom of the kitchen. He dropped to his knees; head bowed with his hands crossed behind his back. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” He babbled. He chanced a brief glance up at the figure that was coming closer with an outstretched hand. He shuffled backwards on his knees until the refrigerator stopped his progress. “Please don’t hurt me,” he begged in a broken voice.


	3. Chapter 3

After Ezra turned in for the night, Chris and Josiah stayed up late exchanging ideas on how they thought they could best help their teammate. In the end, they couldn’t come up with any ideas beyond what they were already doing. The fact that Ezra had told Chris that his memories seemed to be right there gave Josiah hope that they’d surface eventually.

Chris was just starting to drift into a deep sleep. He’d tossed and turned for a bit when he first went to bed as his mind raced with questions that there didn’t seem to be answers for. Just as his mind quieted, he heard a noise that jarred him back to full wakefulness. It sounded like someone moving around the house. Either Josiah or Ezra must be up and about. He thought about getting out of bed to investigate. Before he’d made a choice one way or the other, the sound of a muted thud followed by the shrieking sound of furniture being dragged across the floor reached him and made the decision for him.

He threw back the covers and made his way to the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he went. When he got to the kitchen, he saw a figure illuminated by the light coming from the refrigerator just before it closed. “Ezra,” he called out wondering if his friend needed help with anything and knowing the cast on his wrist would hamper him. He wasn’t prepared for the effect his voice would have on the other man.

Ezra spun around, the piece of pizza in his hand dropping to the floor unnoticed. He fell to his knees, bowed his head, and crossed his hands behind his back. He started babbling apologies promising not to do something again.

Chris was completely caught off guard by the reaction. “It’s ok,” he said softly. He reached out a hand to his frightened friend as he took a few steps closer to him. He saw Ezra glance up at him briefly before trying to shuffle back on his knees until he was stopped by the bulk of the refrigerator. His next words, begging Chris not to hurt him, left Chris feeling sick to his stomach. It had to be a flashback, probably from the time that he was missing, that had Ezra acting this way.

He heard Josiah coming up behind him, probably woken by Ezra’s pleas, and waved a hand to keep him back. Chris had a feeling that if the two of them crowded Ezra, it would only make the flashback worse. They had to reach him and lead him back to the present.

Chris dropped down to his knees to make himself smaller and less threatening. “Hey, Ezra, it’s ok,” he said softly as he held out a hand to him. “C’mon, buddy. It’s just me, Chris...and Josiah’s here, too. No one’s going to hurt you. C’mon back to us.”

Ezra looked up at Chris’s words. Although is voice had died off, Chris could see that he was still mouthing apologies and begging not to be hurt. He was also aware of Josiah moving behind him and turning on the small light over the sink. When it came on, Ezra started blinking rapidly in the sudden but dim light.

“It’s ok, Ezra. It’s ok. No one’s going to hurt you. I promise.” Seeing the fallen piece of pizza on the floor, Chris tried to take another direction. “Hey, you hungry? You didn’t eat much at dinner. I bet you’re hungry.” He quickly looked over to see where Josiah was and saw him still by the sink. “I bet if you move away from the fridge, Josiah’ll get you out a piece of that pizza you like. It’s the one with the eggplant, isn’t it?”

The softly spoken words seemed to have some effect on Ezra. He hadn’t changed his posture, but he had stopped mouthing the apologies and pleas not to be hurt.”

“C’mon, Ezra. Are you hungry?” This time, the question got a small, tentative nod and Chris moved just a little closer to his frightened friend. “Give me your hand and we’ll get up off the floor out of Josiah’s way. Can you do that?”

“I’ll be good,” Ezra whispered. Slowly, his hand came from around his back and he reached it out to Chris. He let him take his hand, help him up from the floor and sit him at the kitchen table. When Chris waved his hand toward Josiah so he could get more of the pizza out of the refrigerator, he flinched again.

“Easy. I told you, no one’s going to hurt you,” Chris soothed.

“I thought I could have it. You said I could. I was so hungry. I won’t touch the food again. I understand.”

Chris traded confused looks with Josiah who prompted him to try to get more out of Ezra. “What happened last time you touched the food?”

Ezra looked up from staring at his lap and held up his left hand...the one in the cast because the wrist was broken.

“Oh God,” Chris breathed out. “Did someone break your wrist because you touched the food”

Slowly, Ezra nodded then whispered one name. “MacDougall.”

Chris and Josiah exchanged looks. If what Ezra was saying was true, he’d just confirmed their suspicions that his disappearance was related to their current case. The question remained. Could and would Ezra remember all that had happened? “Anton MacDougall?” Chris questioned just to clarify.

Ezra nodded his head slowly. He startled as Josiah reached in front of him and put down a plate with a piece of pizza and a glass of water.

“It’s ok, son,” Josiah said as he gave Ezra’s shoulder a little squeeze. “No one will hurt you if you eat it.”

Ezra looked askance at Chris and it was only when he nodded that he picked up the pizza with a shaking hand and took a small bite from it. He darted looks from Chris to Josiah as if expecting either or both to raise a hand. When neither did, he took another, bigger bite. Sure that nothing was going to happen if he ate, he quickly finished of pizza then drained the gass of water. “May I go back to bed now?” he asked when he was done.

“Yeah.” Chris answered.

Ezra stood and, again, crossed his wrists at the small of his back still caught in the flashback. Josiah reached and gently pulled his arms to his sides. “You don’t have to do that, son. We’re not going to hurt you. How about if I walk you back to bed.”

Ezra nodded slightly but stood in place until Josiah took him by the elbow and guided him back to the bedroom he’d been using.

Chris waited until the other two men had left the room before picking up the paper plate with the remains of the pizza on it and putting it in the trash. He moved automatically as his mind played over the last fifteen minutes or so. “He ok?” he asked when Josiah came back to the kitchen.

“Dropped off as soon as his head hit the pillow.” Without asking, Josiah started to put a pot of coffee together.

Neither man said anything else until the coffee was done and they were both seated at the table with full mugs. Chris thought about pulling the bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and adding some but thought the better of it. They had confirmation that MacDougall was behind Ezra’s disappearance and they both needed to keep clear heads. “What the hell was that?”

“Flashback,” Josiah suggested although he knew Chris probably knew that. “Don’t think he ever fully came out of it.”

“Do we ask him about it when he wakes up? Is he even going to remember this?”

Josiah shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. “Can’t really say. He could remember it, or he could think it was a dream.”

“Or remember nothing,” Chris finished. “But we know MacDougall was behind it now even he doesn’t remember this when he wakes up.”

“And something tells me MacDougall didn’t let Ezra go. He must have found some way to escape.”

“And he went to the office for the same reason he’s trusted you since we found him. Some gut instinct that it was safe.”

Josiah nodded and finished off his coffee. “I guess all our work has paid off.”

Chris gave Josiah a questioning look. “What do you mean by that?”

“Without remembering us or knowing who we were, he came to us.” Josiah shrugged. “He trusts us and knows we’ll protect him on some instinctual level. Think about if this had happened when he first joined the team or even a few months or a year after that. Do you think he would have come to us? Trusted us?” Josiah didn’t wait for Chris to answer. “Who knows where he would have gone or what would have happened to him.”

“I guess I didn’t think about that.” Chris pinched the bridge of his nose then scrubbed his hands back through his hair. “If MacDougall made Ezra as ATF, why’d he grab him? What did he want him for and why drug him and whatever the hell else he did?”

“I’m just hazarding some guesses, but it almost sounds like he was trying to break Ezra...condition him for something or maybe get information from him. That flashback, the way he went to his knees with his arms behind his back looks like something he was conditioned to do either through pain or the drugs that were in system. Most likely, both from what he said. You saw. He wouldn’t eat until you gave him permission.”

“Yeah, but he’s been eating fine since we found him. He got out of bed on his own to raid the fridge.”

Josiah shrugged at a loss as well. “He might have suppressed it, and something triggered his memory.”

“I came up behind him and called his name. He was fine until that happened.” Chris blew out an irritated breath. “So now what do we do? What else is going to trigger a flashback? And if you’re right and MacDougall was conditioning him for something, how do we know what it was and what might trigger it?”

Again, Josiah shrugged. “I wish I knew, Chris. All we can do right now is wait until he wakes up and see if he remembers anything that happened tonight and go from there.”

“I hate waiting,” Chris grumbled as he got up from the table. He took his mug and Josiah’s and put them in the sink and made sure the coffee pot was off. “We’d best just get back to bed. Like you said, there’s nothing we can do now to get answers.”


	4. Chapter 4

A shaft of sunlight coming through a gap in the curtains hit Ezra in the face and woke him up. If the sunlight had reached the windows of the bedroom he commonly used at Chris’s ranch, it had to be later in the morning. It was the primary reason he often used this bedroom when staying at the ranch.

He stretched then curled back beneath the heavy comforter, pulling it over his head to block out the sun. Mornings and Ezra had never been the best of friends and he doubted they ever would be. If he could steal a little more time in bed, he wasn’t opposed to the idea.

“Nice try,” he heard Chris’s voice say. “I know you’re awake.”

Obviously, there would be no extra time lying in bed this morning. He pushed the comforter down and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before pushing up to sit. He blinked sleepily in Chris’s direction and saw him sitting in a straight-backed chair at the side of the bed. “Do you make it a habit of watching me sleep?” A bit of annoyance colored his voice.

“Not usually but I thought it might be a good idea after last night.”

“Last night?” Ezra asked clearly confused. “Did something happ....,” he started to ask then trailed off as the memories of the previous night slammed into him. His face first paled then his cheeks grew hot with embarrassment. “Oh lord,” he whispered. “I made a fool of myself.”

“I wouldn’t say that. Josiah and I weren’t even sure you’d remember.”

“Josiah was here? Who else witnessed the spectacle I made of myself?”

“Josiah was the only one here and considering what happened, I wouldn’t say you made a spectacle of yourself. We do need to talk about what happened, though?”

“I imagine it’s for the best.”

Chris nodded and got up from the chair. “I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re ready. There’s a pot of coffee on.”

Ezra waited until Chris had left before throwing back the covers and getting up. He slowly made his way to the bathroom across the hall. Once done there, he made his way to the kitchen. “Good morning, gentleman,” he said as he came into the room.

“How are you doing?” Josiah held out a mug of coffee that was eagerly accepted.

Ezra smiled hesitantly. “A bit embarrassed but none the worse for the wear. He settled at the kitchen table and reached for cream to add to his coffee. “Before either of you ask, yes, I do remember...not only what happened last night but also bits and pieces from when I was gone.”

“Last night, you said it was Anton MacDougall. Is that correct? What did he want?”

“Chris,” Josiah cautioned. “Give him a chance.” He put a dish with toast on it in front of Ezra then sat at the kitchen table as well. He pointed to the empty chair across from Ezra and looked pointedly at Chris until he also sat. Once he had, he grasped Ezra’s shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. “Just take your time and if you’d rather talk with someone else, maybe the psychologist from the hospital, we can arrange that.” He looked pointedly at Chris daring him to disagrees.

“No,” Ezra said. “I’d rather talk to you gentlemen than someone I don’t tr....know.”

Both Josiah and Chris picked up on Ezra’s self-edit. It was Chris who addressed it. “You can trust us Ezra. Would you rather the others were here as well.”

Ezra thought over the question for a moment. He raised the coffee mug to his lips with a shaky hand and took a sip. “No. I’d rather not wait. I just...”

“Whatever you need, son.”

“I just need to tell you what I remember without a lot of questions...at least not until I get it out. I don’t think I’ll be able to otherwise. And I’m still not sure if I remember everything or even what order things happened. It’s still very hazy in my mind.”

This time, it was Chris who reassured him. “Just take your time. We’ve got all day.”

Nodding slightly, Ezra blew out a breath. “I’m not even sure where to begin.”

“The beginning’s usually a good place,” Josiah suggested.

“The beginning,” Ezra echoed. He got up from the table and began to wander the kitchen as he composed his thoughts. He stopped by the backdoor where he could look out to the mountains in the distance. “I was taking the trash out and someone...a couple of someone’s grabbed me. I wasn’t expecting it and before I could even think about fighting, they’d pulled some kind of hood or bag over my head and then I felt a prick in my arm.” As he spoke, he rubbed his hand over his right shoulder in remembered pain. “Everything just sort of got hazy. I don’t think I ever lost consciousness. It was just all disjointed.” He looked over his shoulder at Chris and Josiah still sitting at the table. “I think I’d left the door open. I wasn’t going to be gone long when I took out the trash. Did Kenny...is she...”

It was the first time since he’d been found that Ezra had asked about the cat he shared his home with. Even though he always refused to call her a pet, Josiah and Chris both knew how attached he’d become to her. “She’s fine,” Josiah reassured him. “We found her sitting on your Jag in the garage. It’s how we knew something was wrong. JD’s been looking after her since.”

“Good,” Ezra said with a nod. “That’s good. I’ll have to remember to thank him. I’d hate to think she’d gone homeless again because....” He pulled in a deep breath and let it out shakily then started wandering the kitchen again. Although he’d never said anything, he’d always found it a warm and inviting space. There was no doubt the decorating had been done by Sarah and Chris hadn’t changed it. Everything from the sunflower curtains to the butcher block table fit the mental picture he’d always had of what a normal family’s kitchen would look like...what he’d always dreamed about having as a child. He felt safe here. Maybe that’s why he was finally able to catch onto some of his lost memories and talk about them.

“What else,” Chris prompted when Ezra seemed to lose track of his thoughts.

“Um...I remember being in a vehicle of some kind...I think. I don’t know how long, though. I kept fading in and out.” He came back to sit at the table with Chris and Josiah. “I feel I’m not being very helpful.”

“You’re doing fine,” Josiah reassured as he squeezed Ezra’s forearm. “Just take your time.” Even though Ezra had asked that they not question him, he felt it might help the younger man to get on track. “You said last night that Anton MacDougall broke your wrist,” he prompted.

“Yes. Unfortunately, I remember that very clearly now.” He again took a deep breath then straightened up. His voice was surer when he spoke. “MacDougall was there when they took the hood off me. He wanted to know where I’d hidden it. He knew I was an AFT agent.”

“It?” Chris prompted.

“The information I’d obtained that would prove MacDougall’s guilt. He wanted to know where I’d hidden it. You see, I wasn’t sure it was enough. I wanted to get more to make sure it would be an airtight case.” Ezra’s forehead scrunched up as he tried to latch onto fleeting memories. “I didn’t give it to you, did I?”

Chris shook his head. “You didn’t.”

“Damn it,” Ezra exclaimed as he punched the table. “And that’s one thing I can’t remember. I don’t think I ever told MacDougall...no matter what drugs he gave me or...anything else he did.”

“What did he do?” Chris asked. He was almost afraid to hear the answer.

“Food. It would be days before he’d let me eat and then food would be brought into the room I was being held in. I was so hungry; I’d want to eat it but if I did without his permission...” He looked down and away.

“What?” Josiah asked kindly. “What would happen if you ate without permission.”

“He’d have me beaten. The last time it happened, he took a baseball bat and hit my wrist.” Ezra turned pale and swallowed convulsively a few times. “I heard the bones break...and the pain...”

“Damn it,” Chris exclaimed.

Hearing the loud voice, Ezra pulled back in fear. He saw Josiah reach a hand to him and quickly scrambled out of the chair. As he had the previous night, he dropped to his knees, head bowed, and wrists crossed the small of his back. “I’m s-sorry,” he stammered. “I’m sorry.”

Josiah and Chris exchanged anguished looks. Chris wiped a hand over his face. “What the hell did he do to him?” he whispered. He’d often described Ezra as a cocky son-of-a-bitch but the man cowering on the floor at his feet was anything but that. He knew they’d only heard a fraction of what had happened in the time Ezra was missing but it was enough to turn his stomach. All he could think of was that he wanted MacDougall in front of him so he could personally beat the man to death. He was barely aware of Josiah getting up to kneel on the floor by Ezra.

“Ezra. Son.” Josiah was careful not to touch the younger man since he didn’t know what effect that would have. “You’re safe. C’mon back to us.” He kept up a litany of soothing words until Ezra raised his head, his eyes blinking rapidly. “Ezra?”

The frightened man swallowed a few times and looked around the kitchen. “It happened again,” he half stated, and half questioned.

“Just for a brief moment,” Josiah assured. Now that Ezra seemed to be back, he helped him up off the floor and back to his seat at the table. “How about if we put this off for a little while.” He shook his head slightly at Chris. “I think it might be a good idea to call Dr. Dawson as well. She might be able to help you deal with these memories better than we can.”

Ezra nodded his head slightly. “Yes. Perhaps.” He looked between Josiah and Chris. “But you’ll both be there, right?”

“If that’s what you want,” Chris quickly reassured. “You just say the word.”

“Ok,” Ezra said after taking a deep breath. “I’ll talk to the doctor, but only if the two of you are there. And...” he started to ask hesitantly but trailed off.

Josiah sat down next to Ezra and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. “What is it, Ezra? Is there something you need?”

Although Ezra answered Josiah’s question, he directed the answer to Chris. “Would it be possible for JD to bring Kenny here. I’d like to see that she’s safe...or, maybe, I could go home.”

“As long as MacDougall’s out there, it might not be safe for you to go home,” Chris said. He caught Josiah shaking his head slowly from behind Ezra and quickly added on, “I’ll call JD and ask him to bring Kenny when he comes later.”

“Thank you.” Ezra pinched the bridge of his nose then rubbed at his eyes. “I’m getting a bit of a headache. Would you mind if I lay down for a while?”

“No. Go on,” Chris said. Once Ezra had left the room, he let out a sigh. “I never thought I’d see the day I’d say this, but I miss the cocky son of a bitch Ezra usually is.”

“We all do, Chris.” Josiah pushed up from the table. He collected the used mugs and the plate the toast was still on and took them to the sink. “Bringing Kenny here might help him.”

Chris couldn’t stop the skeptical look he gave Josiah. “You really think a cat’s going to help him?”

Josiah leaned back against the sink and crossed his arms over his chest. “Animals can be very soothing. She might provide him the security he needs.”

“If you say so. I’ll call JD and have him bring the cat here. We should probably get everyone together and fill them in on what Ezra has remembered.”

While Josiah finished cleaning up in the kitchen, Chris went to the living room to make calls to the rest of Team Seven. He had a feeling it was going to be a long day.


	5. Chapter 5

It was early afternoon when JD arrived, cat carrier in one hand and a bag in the other. As Chris opened the front door for him, the carrier rocked slightly at the same time a displeased hissing could be heard.

“Next time the demon needs to be moved, I am not volunteering to do it,” JD announced as he walked past Chris and put the carrier and bag down on the floor. He pushed up the sleeves of his coat and held his arms out so Chris could see the scratches on them. “She does not go quietly.”

“I’ll put you in for hazard pay,” Chris quipped. “What’s in the bag?”

“Some of her toys and food. “Buck’s bringing in the litter and litter box.”

Chris was about to point out that he’d asked JD to bring the cat, not move Ezra in when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned to see Ezra coming into the living room from the kitchen.

JD quickly pushed his sleeves down so Ezra wouldn’t see the scratches. “Hey, Ez. Got a visitor for you.”

For the first time since he’d been found cowering in the garage, a genuine smile lit up Ezra’s face. He crouched on the floor by the cat carrier and unlatched the door. Immediately, the orange tabby’s head poked out to look around curiously. Once she saw Ezra, she let out a loud meow and bounded out of the carrier at him. Instinctively, he put his arms out to catch her, falling onto his butt from the crouch he’d been in when she hit his chest. He cuddled her against him and began to scratch her head. Everyone in the room was able to hear the rumbling purr of happiness coming from Kenny. Ezra brushed his face briefly against her soft fur. “Missed you, too,” he said in a soft voice the others had to strain to hear.

Josiah, who’d come into the living room behind Ezra looked over to Chris. “Looks like Kenny might be just what the doctor ordered.”

Ezra glanced up at JD. “I hope she didn’t give too much trouble. She doesn’t much like being cooped up in the carrier – especially since it usually means she’s going to the v-e-t.” The other men struggled to hide their chuckles when he spelled out the word as if the cat could understand. “She’s very intelligent,” Ezra defended sensing what was causing the mirth.

“She moved in with you and manages to not pay her share of the mortgage or fees and gets you to do all the shopping,” Buck said from the door where he stood with a litter box and bag of litter, “so she has to be pretty smart.” Since the first time he and JD had seen the cat in Ezra’s condo, Ezra had insisted that she wasn’t a pet and that they merely cohabitated together. It had since become a running joke among all the men of Team Seven.

“She more than repays me for her lodging and sustenance.”

Josiah watched how relaxed Ezra had become holding and petting the cat and nodded knowingly. “That she does my friend. That she does.”

“Why don’t we leave you two to...catch up,” Chris suggested as he gestured for the others to go to the kitchen.

Ezra got up from the floor, Kenny still in his arms, and frowned at Chris. “Mr. Larrabee, please don’t insult my intelligence. I know you wish to speak with Buck and JD about what transpired last night and this morning. I’m perfectly fine with that and understand the need. You don’t need to pretend it didn’t happen.”

“Sorry.” Chris should have known Ezra would be perceptive enough to know what he was doing. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Before anyone said anything else, the sound of a phone ringing was heard. Josiah pulled his phone from his pocket and looked at the displayed caller ID then pointed to the kitchen. “I’m just going to take this in there while you fellas figure out what you’re doing.”

Chris nodded agreement. “Well, let’s all sit down for this.” He waited until everyone had found a seat on one of the couches or chairs before asking, “How do you want to do this, Ezra?” Before he could answer, there was knocking on the door.

“I’d venture a guess that’s probably Nathan and Vin. Once they’re settled, it’ll probably be best for you to tell our compatriots what transpired last night.” Ezra kept his voice level and almost disinterested but, for those who knew him well, it was easy to hear both the embarrassment and nervousness in his voice.

“If that’s what you want,” Chris answered with a nod before getting up to let Vin and Nathan in. He ushered them to the living room. Once they were settled, he began to describe what had happened during the night.

Ezra sat stoically during the telling not meeting anyone’s eyes. He kept his gaze locked on the cat in his lap. Although his hands stilled from petting, he never gave up contact with her.

“So, we’re sure it was MacDougall behind it then?” Nathan questioned once Chris was done.

Ezra looked up to meet Nathan’s eyes as he answered, “That’s what the memories I can recall are telling me. I’m sure there’s more but...” He shrugged helplessly.

At that moment, Josiah came back into the living room. “That was Dr. Dawson. She’s agreed to come by later. She thinks she may have some ideas to help you recall more of what happened.”

Ezra pulled in a deep breath then let it out slowly. “Good. It’ll be good to get it all figured out.” He looked to each of the other six men. “I want to know what happened. I need to know if I told MacDougall anything that could compromise any of you. I couldn’t forgive myself if anything...”

“Nothing’s going to happen to any of us,” Chris interrupted. He quickly crossed over to Ezra and gently grasped his left wrist. “This right here tells me you weren’t going to play his games.”

“You can say that even after what happened last night, Chris? Even after I...I begged and pleaded?”

For a moment it was as if the other five weren’t in the room and it was just Chris and Ezra. “Yeah, you might've begged not to be hurt, but you didn’t offer anything in trade for that...other than a promise to be good...whatever the hell that means. You might have thought you were back with MacDougall, but you never offered to trade anything for your safety.” Chris had to stoop down just a little to catch Ezra’s eyes, but when he did, he held his gaze. “We trust you, Ezra. I trust you and I know there’s nothing that would compel you to do anything to endanger anyone you care about.”

“How can you be so sure?” Ezra asked. There was a sense of confusion in his voice - not that Chris could be so confident in this matter, but that anyone could have that kind of confidence in him at all.

“I told you. Because I know you. You may be a cocky son of a bitch and I might think about shooting you every now and then, but I know you. I know what kind of man you are.” Chris hated that he seemed to have to keep reassuring Ezra of this. It was as if the time he’d been missing had broken down every defense he had and left him questioning his own worth. In the time he’d been on Team 7, Chris and he others had done so much to win Ezra’s trust and prove to him that, this time, he had a team to watch his back and that they wouldn’t turn on him. To see that trust stripped, to see Ezra questioning his own worth gave Chris even more motivation to bring MacDougall to justice.

Silence descended on the room after Chris had spoken. He still held Ezra’s gaze and it wasn’t until Ezra nodded shallowly that he finally turned to the others. “We’re going to get MacDougall, but we’ll do it by the book. The bastard’s not just going to prison. They’re gonna build a new one on top of him.”

M7M7M7M7M7M7M7

Once Chris had shared with everyone what had gone on during the night, Buck, JD, and Nathan went back to the office. As much as they all wanted to be at the ranch with Ezra, there was still work that needed to be done not only on the MacDougall case but others as well.

Chris also sent Josiah home for a while. He’d been reluctant to do so wanting to stay to provide whatever security Ezra needed. It was only when Ezra urged him to go home for a break that he finally relented with the warning that he’d be back before six when Dr. Dawson was expected.

Ezra took the time until the counselor got there to go through his files on the MacDougall case that Vin had brought for him. Since Vin had also spent some time under cover on the case as well, he stayed to help go through the file.

“This can’t be everything,” Ezra said as flipped through file folders and papers. “There’s got to be something missing.”

Chris also looked through several of the folders. “This is everything. What do you think is missing?”

Again, Ezra looked through several folders. “There’s nothing current in all of this about MacDougall’s finances.” He tossed the folder he’d been looking through on the table. “I was working as his accountant for two months but the most recent financial data we have is almost a year old. That’s not right. I know I....” Ezra trailed off as his face got a faraway look.

“What?” Vin asked. When Ezra didn’t respond right away, he leaned over and gently shook his arm. He wasn’t prepared for Ezra to flinch away from him so violently, he almost upended himself from the chair. It was only Chris’s quick reflexes that stopped him from falling. Unfortunately, that didn’t garner a good reaction either as Ezra shoved Chris away, got up and went to the other side of the room putting the wall firmly to his back. He slid down it and rested his forehead against upraised knees and circled them with his arms.

Chris got up from his chair and slowly approached Ezra with his hands held out in front of him, trying not to startle him anymore. “Hey. It’s ok, Ezra. It’s just me and Vin.” He hoped it wasn’t going to be a repeat of last night. He wasn’t sure he was ready for another of Ezra’s flashbacks. “No one’s going to hurt you.” He stopped a couple of feet from the upset man and watched as the curious cat approached.

As if she sensed her human’s upset, Kenny burrowed until she got her head between Ezra’s knees and chest, meowing constantly. It was only when she did that he relaxed slightly and moved his head enough to see the cat. “Hey,” he said softly as he began petting her with a shaking hand. 

Several minutes went by as Ezra sat on the floor petting Kenny. Other than the cat’s purr and the hum of the refrigerator, there wasn’t another sound in the house.

Gradually, Ezra relaxed until Chris felt it was safe to approach him without upsetting him. “You ok?” he asked as crouched down next to man and cat.

Ezra looked up at Chris then back down to Kenny. “I am now. For just a moment...” He pulled in a deep breath and let it out. “I apologize.”

“Don’t,” Vin said as he came over to join the two men. “I startled you, that’s all. I should have known better given all you’ve been through.”

"You mean given I’m a basket case,” Ezra asked with a sardonic laugh.

Before either Chris or Vin could dispute Ezra’s assessment of himself, there was a knock on the front door. Chris glanced at his watch and saw that it was still over an hour before Dr. Dawson was expected or any of the rest of Team Seven. “Now what?” he wondered aloud as he hoped it wasn’t something else that would set Ezra off.

“I’ll get it,” Vin said since he was closest to the door. He took a quick peak through the curtained window then looked back to Ezra and Chris. “It’s your Ma, Ezra.”

“Mother?” Ezra asked in surprise. He rubbed his hands over his face and shakily got to his feet. “Why is she coming here? She mustn’t know what’s transpired.”

“It’s a little late for that,” Chris said. “She was notified when you went missing and when you were found. I’m surprised it’s taken her this long to get here.”

As Chris spoke, Vin opened the door. “C’mon in,” he said as Maude breezed by him as if he didn’t exist.

Brushing past Chris, Maude only had eyes for her son. “Ezra!” She pulled him into a fierce hug. “Oh, my darlin’ baby boy. I was so afraid for you.”

It didn’t cross Ezra’s mind that as fearful as she claimed to be, she hadn’t been in Denver waiting for him. He knew that wasn’t in his mother’s nature. The display of affection she was showing generally wasn’t either and told him all he needed to know about how worried she’d been. “Mama,” he choked out as he melted into her embrace. Despite his earlier words to Chris that she not know what had happened, for just a few moments, he let himself be a little boy being comforted by his mother.

Vin and Chris watched the reunion between mother and son. “This could really get real interesting, now,” Vin murmured loud enough for only Chris to hear.

Chris nodded slightly. Ezra and Maude may have had a closer relationship in the last couple of years than they had when Ezra first joined Team Seven. Despite that, though, Chris knew Ezra would do everything he could to hide any weakness...or what he saw as weakness...from his mother. It could make the fast approaching appointment with Dr. Dawson interesting if Maude insisted on staying.


	6. Chapter 6

The familial reunion didn’t last long. When Ezra and Maude broke apart, both were composed and anyone looking at them, wouldn’t have known what had just happened. Vin and Chris exchanged knowing looks but neither said anything.

Maude led Ezra over to the nearby couch where they sat side by side. She angled her body toward her son. “Michael and I were out of the country taking care of one of his business interests in Hong Kong. Michael insisted I come to Denver as soon as Mr. Larabee notified me that you were missing but I just couldn’t. I’d’ve only worried here. I wanted to keep busy.”

Ezra lay a gentle finger on his mother’s lips to stop her from talking. “I understand, Mother. You couldn’t have done anything if you’d been here other than drive Chris and the others to distraction.”

Maude nodded slightly in agreement. “Mr. Larabee was kind enough to keep me updated. I should have been here several days ago but the traveling...it was just one thing after another.”

“Mother, I understand. Really, I do.” Since he was a child, Maude had always had difficulty being around him when he was injured or ill. At first, he’d thought it was because she considered illness and injury weakness and didn’t have time to deal with it. Eventually, he’d come to realize that she just didn’t know what do and that it scared her. Her method of dealing with anything that frightened her was to ignore it until it was gone. She’d been getting better at being around him during some of his more recent medical issues, but she still hadn’t broken the old habit completely. “You’re here now.”

“I am,” Maude assured as she took her son’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “And Michael should be along in a few more days. He would have come with me, but he had to finish something.”  
  


“I look forward to seeing him again.” For a change, Ezra meant what he said about one of his stepfathers. He genuinely like Michael Halden. Not only that, but he knew Maude also cared about him and he wasn’t just a mark. It didn’t hurt that Michael knew what Maude was about and still wanted to be with her. Ezra hoped that, this time, his mother had finally found happiness and someone she could spend the rest of her life with.

Maude cupped her hands around the cast on Ezra’s wrist then ran a gentle finger over the fading bruises on his face. She looked over to Chris. “Tell me you’ve caught the man who did this to my son,” she said with her voice dripping with venom.

“We’re working on it. Trust me, he will be brought to justice for what he’s done.”

“He’d better be.” As Maude turned back to Ezra, she caught sight of the file folders still spread on the coffee table, one of which had a photo of Anton MacDougall clipped to it. “Whatever reason is there that you have a photo of Cousin Clayton?” she asked as she picked up the folder with the photo.

A chorus of “Who?” and “Cousin Clayton?” came from Vin and Chris.

“Mother, that’s the man who had me abducted. His name’s Anton MacDougall. He’s a known arms dealer that we’ve been investigating.”

Maude looked at the three men in surprise. “I don’t know what name he’s using now, and he may look older since I last saw him, but this man is my second cousin, Clayton Traynor.” She made a face as she said his name. “A thoroughly distasteful man as I found out.” She turned to Ezra. “Darlin’ you still don’t remember him?”

Ezra shook his head. “Should I?”

“I made the mistake of leaving you with him the summer you were eight. I thought he could be trusted.” Maude’s brow knotted in confusion. “You still don’t remember that?”

“Ezra’s been having some issues with his memory since we found him,” Chris supplied.

“He hasn’t remembered what happened since shortly after it happened,” Maude countered.

“What happened, Mother?” Ezra asked. He had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Maude looked over to Chris unsure what she should say.

“I asked,” Ezra said sharply pulling his mother’s attention back to him. “Mr. Larabee didn’t. I’d like to know what happened.”

“I...” Maude began but was interrupted by a knock. She looked relieved when it happened.

“Saved by the knock,” Vin commented as he got up to see who was at the door this time. To his relief, it was just Josiah. “Just in time,” he said when he’d pulled the door open. “Ez’s Ma is here. Seems she knows MacDougall and she’s got a story for us.”

“She what?” Josiah wasn’t sure he’d heard Vin right although, the way things had been going, it wouldn’t surprise him that Maude knew the man who’d kidnapped her son.

Vin waved Josiah into the living room instead of trying to explain. “What’s this about you knowing Anton MacDougall,” Josiah demanded as soon as perfunctory greetings had been exchanged.

Maude pointed to the folder and the photo on it. “The man you’re calling Anton MacDougall is my second cousin, Clayton Traynor.”  
  
“Apparently, I spent time with good ol’ Cousin Clayton when I was a child, but I don’t remember it. Mother was just going to enlighten us. Pull up a chair, Josiah, I’m sure it’s going to be quite an interesting tale.” As he spoke, Ezra didn’t take his eyes off Maude. He wasn’t going to give her the chance to use Josiah’s arrival as an excuse not to share this part of his childhood that he seemed to have no memories of.

Maude waited until Josiah was seated before launching into her tale. “As I said, it was the summer Ezra was eight that he stayed with Clayton. I was...being courted by Nathaniel Hawkes.”

“Stepfather number one,” Ezra broke in to clarify. “He only lasted a very short time. Two months, I believe. The courtship lasted longer.”

“Yes,” Maude agreed. Her discomfort was clearly visible to all the men. “As I was saying. Nathaniel invited me on a grand tour of Europe, but it was impossible to take Ezra.”

Again, Ezra broke in. “Dear Nathaniel didn’t find out about me until after he’d proposed.”

“Darlin’, if you’d care to tell these gentlemen about that summer, be my guest, but since you said you don’t remember, perhaps you’d best leave it to me.” Although her voice was level and pleasant, it was clear to Ezra that she was becoming irritated. He made a gesture for her to continue.

“Anyways...I needed someone to look after Ezra while I was gone. My cousin Amy – she's Clayton’s sister – suggested that Clayton might be willing to look after Ezra for a while. Clayton had a beautiful home just outside of Biloxi and I thought it would be a wonderful opportunity for Ezra to have a male influence in his life for a time. It wasn’t until I got a phone call from the hospital two months later that I realized what kind of sick, sadistic bastard Clayton was.”

“What did he do?” Josiah nearly growled.

For just a second, Maude was taken aback by Josiah’s vehemence and didn’t immediately answer. It was Ezra who surprisingly did. “That’s the summer I broke my wrist,” he murmured. He protectively covered the cast on his current broken wrist.

“It was,” Maude agreed. “When I got to the hospital, Ezra had a broken wrist.” She hesitantly reached to brush her fingers over the fingers of Ezra’s casted hand. “It was your left wrist then, too.” She looked over to the other men, taking them in. “In addition to his wrist, I was told he was also malnourished.” Her eyes cut back to her son. “Lord, you were skin and bones in that bed. You looked so small and helpless.” She pulled in a deep breath to compose herself. “You were always such a high-spirited child and given to such mischief. Clayton decided you needed to be set on the right path. Unless you were perfectly good, what he considered good, he wouldn’t let you eat. You told me you’d gone days sometimes without any food. He hit you with a rolling pin because you took an apple without permission.”

“I was hungry,” Ezra said in an almost dream-like state.

“I know, Bean. If the neighbors hadn’t heard you scream and called the police…” Maude pulled in a deep, shuddering breath. “I’d hate to think what might have happened to you.”

“You don’t remember any of this, Ezra?” Chris asked.

Ezra shook his head. “Maybe some vague images. I remember the apple…I think.”

“You woke up the next day after I’d come to the hospital and you couldn’t remember a thing that you’d told me had happened. The doctor said you were blocking it out. What you’d told us…it was so horrible. He starved you, beat you…I wished I could forget it.”

“What happened with Clayton.”

Maude turned sharply in Josiah’s direction. “The bastard walked away. Since Ezra couldn’t remember, the police said there was nothing they could use to hold him. He could have killed my baby and he walked away.”

“So, you’ve repressed this memory since you were eight,” Josiah said to Ezra.

“Which means you wouldn’t have recognized MacDougall…Traynor when you saw him,” Chris added. “It must have something to do with how he figured out who you are.”

“I don’t see how. It’s been more than 25 years. How would he recognize me as a grown adult?”

“You look like your Dad,” Vin pointed out.

“How would you know?” Ezra challenged.

Maude fished in her purse and pulled out the family picture she still carried and handed it to Ezra. “I showed your friends this and swore them to secrecy to never tell you.”

Ezra took the photo and looked at it. He rubbed his thumb over his father’s face a few times. It had been years since he’d seen a picture of Matthew Standish. Over that time, his father’s face had grown fuzzy in his memories. Looking at the picture of him was like looking at a picture of himself.

“You are the spittin’ image of your Daddy.” Maude cupped her son’s cheek, rubbing her thumb along his cheekbone. “Every time I looked at you when you were a boy, he was the green in your eyes.”

Ezra cupped his mother’s hand to his face. “I remember you used to say that to me. I’d look and look but could never find him.” He turned to face his mother, ignoring the presence of the others. “Why did you leave me? I just wanted to be with you.”

Maude took a deep breath. It was time to finally face the question Ezra had asked so many times in the past. Usually, it was in anger or frustration and she was able to ignore it or give a trite answer. The way he asked this time, she knew she couldn’t. “I didn’t know what to do, Ezra. Every time I looked at you, it was like a knife in my heart. You were...are...so like your father. So, I sent you away and I did what I thought was best to give you the life I thought you deserved. I wasn’t always proud of what I did but I used the talents my family had taught me, and I used them well...and I taught you those talents as well.” A quick smile flitted over her lips. “I didn’t have to do much teaching. You’ve got more God-given talent than anyone has a right to have.” She grasped both of his hands in hers, careful of the cast. “Being honest, there are things I do wish I could redo, but I can’t. And I know I don’t say it as often as I should but...I’m proud of you Ezra Phillip Standish. I am so proud of the man you’ve become.”

Ezra’s mouth moved but nothing came out of it. He never expected Maude to say she regretted anything from the past. The absolute last thing he would have ever expected was her to freely and openly praise him – especially in the presence of the others.

Before Ezra had regained the ability to talk, Maude turned to Chris. “So, what do we do to make sure Clayton gets what’s coming to him this time?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those familiar with White Collar, you may have noticed that I borrowed a line/concept and worked it into this. I just finished a rewatch of White Collar. When I heard the line, it spoke to me and I knew I had to find a way to use it. I also see a lot of parallels between Ezra and Neal.


	7. Chapter 7

“You’re all nothing but a bunch of damned idiots and buffoons. There were three of you. Three! Somehow you all managed to screw up and lose track of the one man who can put me away for the rest of my life.” The man known to his associates as Anton MacDougall paced back and forth in his well-appointed office. Short, overweight, with an unnatural almost orange spay-on tan, and a toupee that was never quite straight, he bore little resemblance to either of his cousins.

He stopped his pacing and pinned the three other men in the office with his watery blue gaze. “Remind me again which of you idiots forgot to give him the last dose and which one forgot to tie him up?”

“We’re sorry, Mr. MacDougall,” one of the men stammered. “We thought the drugs...the beatings...”

“You assumed his will was broken,” MacDougall shouted. “I told you not to trust him. He was a slippery little bastard at eight and nothing’s changed.” He turned away from the three men and rubbed his hand over the toupee knocking it more askew. “I should have killed the brat when I had a chance,” he muttered. He whirled back to his three henchmen. “What’s being done to locate him?”

The three men traded looks before one was brave enough to speak. “They’ve been keeping him at a ranch outside the city limits. We were able to trace that it’s owned by Chris Larabee - another ATF agent. From what we’ve been able to find out, he heads up Regional Mobile Enforcement Team Seven of the ATF.”

“Team Seven?” MacDougall queried. They’re not just any AFT agents, my cousin and this other one are with Team Seven?”

“Yes, sir,” the man who’d been talking agreed. It was well known that the regional mobile enforcement teams of the ATF were special task forces operating within the ATF staffed by the best and brightest. Team Seven had the highest arrest record of the task forces and its reputation preceded it among those they went after. “There are always at least two other agents from Team Seven with him and there’s law enforcement patrols all around the property. We haven’t been able to get to him.”

MacDougall sat in the chair behind the desk. He made an obvious attempt to calm down as he pulled in several deep breaths. “How long can we expect the drug to affect him, Connors?” He directed the question at the man who’d been standing silently in the corner. “Since the ATF hasn’t come streaming out here yet, can I assume they still don’t have what they need.”

Connors stepped out of the shadowy corner. Tall and razor thin, he was the complete opposite of MacDougall. “The effects may already be waning. As I said. It’s an untested cocktail of psychoactive drugs. All of the effects it will have and the duration it will last are unknowns. We’re not even sure if it can cause dependence.”

“And when it does wear off,” MacDougall demanded. “What’ll happen then?”

“He’ll most likely start to remember the events of the last month in the form of flashbacks. He may think he’s reliving those moments again.”

“And me? He’ll remember that I was present?”

“He could. Given the state he’ll be in when he does start to remember, anything he says will sound like the rantings of a madman and most likely be discounted. If there are any kind of dependence issues, that could manifest either physically or mentally.”

MacDougall slammed a fist on the desk. “That’s not good enough. I can’t take the chance that anyone will believe him. I want him found. I want the information he has found. After that, I want him dead. Is that understood, Myers?”

“Yes sir,” Myers, the spokesman for the three henchman said. “Larry called in about an hour ago. There’s been a lot of comings and goings today. It may make it easier for us to get someone on the property.”

“What kind of comings and goings? Who’s been with my dear cousin?”

“Mainly, it’s been the other members of the ATF team but there was a strange woman there today. Larry texted over this.” The man opened a photo on his phone and turned it to MacDougall who snatched the phone from him.

“Well, well,” he said when he saw the picture. “If it isn’t dear cousin Maude.” He handed the phone back. “Looks like I’ll be able to kill two birds with one stone.” MacDougall sat in thought for a moment. “If we can’t get to him at this ranch, perhaps we can use dear Cousin Maude to lure him to us.”

“How do you plan to do that?” Myers ventured.

"The same way I found out Standish was with the ATF. I’ll place a call to my dear, sweet sister Amy and have her call Maude with some pretext to get her out here. Then, once I have her, we’ll give Standish an option. Either he meets me with the evidence I know he has, or his mother dies.” MacDougall laughed, “Of course, he doesn’t have to know she’ll die anyways...along with him.”

“And your sister will do this?” Myers shuffled uncomfortable as he asked the question, afraid it would set off his volatile boss. “No disrespect, sir.”

MacDougall pinned Myers with a look but held his temper in check. “My sister is too stupid and too naïve to think I’d be up to no good. Back when Standish and his mother accused me of abusing him, she was the only who thought they had to be mistaken. She’ll do it and she won’t suspect a thing.” As he reached for the phone, he glared at Myers. “What are you standing around for? Make sure the special room is prepared for my cousin and her off-spring.” He looked over to Connors. “And you, before I make dear Cousin Maude watch me kill her brat, I want to have fun with them, and I don’t want any mistakes this time.”

As men scurried off to do as commanded, MacDougall picked up the phone and dialed. “Amy. It’s Clay,” he began with not a trace of the previous evil in his voice. “I need a favor and only my favorite sister can do it for me.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: I do not have experience in hypnotherapy, psycho analysis, or any other psychological treatment methods. Everything that follows in this chapter is literary license.

Promptly at 6:00 pm Dr. Dawson arrived at Chris’s ranch. “Well, this is a full house,” she said as she was escorted into the living room by Chris. In addition to Ezra, Vin, Josiah, and Maude; Nathan, Buck and JD had also arrived.

“My associates have insisted on being here for support,” Ezra explained then gestured to Maude, “as has my mother.”

“Well, it’s important to have the support of family and friends, but I’m not sure this is the best time for everyone to be here.” She took in all those in the room. “It could actually make it a little harder to help Ezra if he has such an audience.”

The six men and Maude stubbornly looked back without anyone making a move to leave. Chris ended up speaking for all of them. “We promised Ezra we’d be here to watch his back and that’s what we’re going to do.”

Ezra surprised everyone when he let out a little chuckle. “Mr. Larabee, I don’t think the good doctor means me any harm.” He looked over to Dr. Dawson, “You’ll have to forgive them. They’re a bit...protective.”

Dr. Dawson returned the chuckle. “So, I see. You must be a pretty special guy for them all to want to be here for you.”

Ezra colored at the words. “Just really lucky,” he corrected her.

“There’s no such thing as luck, Ezra. I thought I taught you better than that,” Maude quickly corrected.

“Mother, please. Not now,” Ezra begged.

“All I’m saying, Darlin’, is that it’s not luck that these men are standing with you. One way or another, you earn and create everything you have.” Silence fell over the room that lasted for a few second but seemed like longer. “And I’m not leaving,” Maude added to break the silence.

Observing the stubborn set to Maude’s jaw and the way none of the other men were making a move to leave, Dr. Dawson let out a small sigh. “How about a compromise. Mrs. Standish can stay and just one of you...provided that’s what Ezra wants.”

“Mrs. Halden,” Ezra off-handedly corrected. “My mother has remarried.” He left off mentioning how many times. “I believe your plan will be acceptable.” He looked between Chris and Josiah. He knew Chris should probably remain since he was the team leader, but he was still feeling more comfortable with Josiah than any of the others.

Chris took matters into his own hands and spared Ezra having to make a choice. “Josiah, why don’t you stay. The rest of us will go in the kitchen and leave the four of you alone.” He stood up and looked at the other four pointedly then made his way to the kitchen.

“So, what do we do now?” Ezra asked once the door to the kitchen had swung closed.

“Why don’t you start by telling me what’s happened since last night. When I spoke with Mr. Sanchez, he said you’d regained some memories but also had a couple of flashbacks.”

Ezra looked quickly toward his mother suddenly unsure of her presence. He was afraid of seeming weak in her eyes when she heard about how he’d acted when he had the flashbacks. Even worse, he was afraid of what she might do. The last thing he wanted was for her to go off on her own and deal with Anton MacDougall/Clayton Traynor or whatever name he happened to be using.

“I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s been going on,” Dr. Dawson prompted him when he hesitated. She caught how he kept glancing at his mother. “Would you feel better if you mother wasn’t here.”

“No,” Ezra said with a quick shake of his head. One way or another, he knew Maude would find out what had happened. Haltingly, he began to tell the doctor about what he could remember of the two flashbacks as well as what he could now remember about the month he’d been missing. What he couldn’t quite remember about the flashbacks, Josiah supplied since he’d been there both times.

“And this man, he’s related to you?” Dr. Dawson asked when he was finished.

This time, it was Maude who spoke explaining how she recognized the man in the photo as her cousin and what had happened the summer Ezra was eight.

“I barely remember any of that,” Ezra added on when Maude was done. “I just remember being hungry, an apple, and pain in my wrist...and then I was in a hospital and Mother was there.”

While Ezra, Maude, and Josiah had been talking, Dr. Dawson had been taking notes. It’s not unheard of to block out traumatic memories from childhood.” She closed the notebook and put it and the pen she’d been writing with on the floor. “I’d like to try something with you...see if I can guide you through the memories you do have and try to recover others. Based on what you’ve already told me, it may not be pleasant.”

Ezra took a deep breath and let it out. “I think I uncovered enough evidence to get an arrest warrant for MacDougall...Traynor. If it means I can remember what that is and put him away, I’m willing to deal with unpleasantness. I want this to end.”

“Ok.” the doctor noticed that Ezra was sitting in a recliner. “Why don’t you put your feet up and get comfortable.”

As soon as he had, Kenny hopped up to sit on the arm of the chair and stared at the doctor. One paw dangled down making contact with Ezra’s leg. Ezra smiled slightly and gave her a quick pat on the head. “I don’t suggest you try to dissuade her to leave. She’ll prove even more stubborn than my mother and compatriots.”

“I think she’ll be just fine where she is.” Dr. Dawson motioned to Josiah. “Can you sit next to Ezra and put your hand on his ankle.” When both Ezra and Josiah looked questioningly, she further explained. “Like I said, things might not be pleasant. Josiah’s going to act as your anchor to the present. Anytime it starts to feel like things are too intense, I want you to concentrate on the feel of Josiah’s hand on your ankle.”

“Ok.” Ezra shifted just a bit settling more comfortable in the chair. “So, what now.”

Dr. Dawson leaned down to pick up the pen and notebook again. After opening the notebook to a blank page, she held up the pen, and began speaking in a low, level voice. “I want you to look at this and just listen to me. Block out any other sounds you’re hearing. Just concentrate on my voice and the pen. Let yourself relax.”

As the doctor spoke, Josiah and Maude could see Ezra’s body gradually relaxing. With his hand resting on Ezra’s ankle, Josiah was able to feel the tension lessen. After little more than a minute, Ezra pulled in a deep breath and let it out on a sigh as his body completely relaxed. Josiah looked to the doctor in concern.

“He’s all right,” she assured him. “He’ll be able to better access his memories if he’s in a relaxed state.”

“Would having anyone else in the room cause an issue for him at this point?” Josiah asked.

“It shouldn’t. Why?”

“I think it might be a good idea for at least Chris to join us. It’s probably better that he hears what happened right from Ezra instead of second hand.”

Dr. Dawson nodded then turned to Maude. “Mrs. Halden, would you mind asking Chris to rejoin us?”

“He awake?” Chris asked as he followed Maude back into the living room. With his eyes nearly closed and his breathing slow and shallow, Ezra looked as if he were asleep.

“He is,” Dr. Dawson assured him. “He’s just in a deeply relaxed state. As I explained to Mrs. Halden and Josiah, he’ll be better able to access his memories if he’s completely relaxed. Stress can prove to be a block to access traumatic or repressed memories.”

“So, now that he’s not stressed...” Chris trailed off.

“He should remember.” Dr. Dawson moved over to Ezra. “Ezra,” she called in a quiet but authoritative voice. “I’m going to touch your hand. When I do, you’re going to tell us what happened when you were abducted. If you start to feel upset or stressed, I want you to concentrate on the feeling of Josiah’s hand on your ankle and you’ll feel secure again.” She gestured for Josiah to squeeze Ezra’s ankle. “Do you understand me.”

“I do,” Ezra answered. His voice had an almost dream-like quality to it.

“Here we go, then,” she said then lightly touched Ezra’s hand. “Where are you?”

“I’m home…in the kitchen. I have some information I need to pass on to Mr. Larabee, but it’s Monday night and I need to take the trash out. I’ll just take a few brief moments to do that, or I may get caught up in work and forget. No, Kenny. You’d best stay inside. It’s chilly out and you won’t like it.”

Chris and Josiah exchanged brief smiles at the mention of the cat.

“I’m putting the bag in the trash can and taking it out to the sidewalk. I forgot to close the back door. Kenny’s probably going to sneak out. I’m turning around to go back in the house.” A shiver went through him. “It’s quite cold. I should have put on a coat. I can hear a vehicle pulling up behind me.”

As Ezra spoke, Chris tapped the doctor on the arm. “Would it make sense for me to ask him some questions? I know what information we need?” he asked in a whisper.

Dr. Dawson looked between Chris and Ezra. “It’s highly unusual, but we can try. You’ll just need to keep your voice level and calm.”

“Got it.”

“Ezra, I want you to listen carefully. Chris Larabee is going to ask you some questions. I want you to remain relaxed. Do you understand?”

“I do.”

The doctor nodded giving Chris the go-ahead to ask questions. “Ezra, did you see the vehicle you heard?”

“Present tense,” Dawson whispered. “Use the present tense.”

Chris nodded and re-asked the question. “Can you see the vehicle you’re hearing, Ezra.”

“I’m trying to look, but someone has grabbed me from behind. I think...I think I cansee a white van but here’s someone else. They’re restraining me.”

“That’s good Ezra. How about who grabbed you. Did...do you see them? Can you describe them?”

Ezra was quiet for a couple of seconds. His brow knit in confusion as he tried to answer the question. “No. They have masks of some type on. I’m trying to fight, but they’re bigger than me. I can’t get away.” As he spoke, his respiration picked up and he started to tense up.

“You’re safe,” Dr. Dawson said as she held a hand up for Chris to hold. “You can feel Josiah’s hand on your ankle. You’re safe.” As she spoke, the tension once more left Ezra’s body. Once he was once more relaxed, she indicated to Chris that she was going to take over questioning again. “What else is happening? You can’t see their faces, but can you see anything else?”

“They’re putting a hood over my head, but I can see one of their arms. It’s pale, like he doesn’t see the sun.”

“He?” the doctor question. “You know it’s a man?”

“I can hear voices. They’re both masculine.”

“What are they saying? Can you understand them?”

Again, Ezra’s brow knotted as he pulled up the memory. “They’re saying to grab me, I’m the one MacDougall wants...complaining because I’m trying to fight. One of them says to stick me. There’s a prick in my shoulder. Everything’s hazy.”

“That’s good. You’re doing good. Now what? What’s happening now?”

“My hands are tied behind my back then I’m being pushed into a vehicle...a van? I can’t concentrate. Everything’s hazy. I feel sick...going to be sick.”

“Ezra, you’re safe,” Dawson said. “You can feel Josiah’s hand. You’re safe.”

Chris exchanged looks with the doctor. “Must have been whatever they gave him.”

“What else is happening, Ezra?” Dr. Dawson prompted.

For the next ten minutes, Ezra recounted his time in captivity. The four who listened were in turns sickened and angered by what he described. At times, he’d been kept in a cold, dark room with no contact with his captors; deprived of food and water. Other times, he’d be beaten and made to kneel for hours with his arms crossed behind his back while MacDougall demanded over and over that he tell him where the evidence was. Then there were the pricks in his arms as we drugged over and over.

When he got to the part about eating the piece of bread that was on the table in front of him only to have a baseball bat crash down on his wrist because he hadn’t asked for permission, Maude had to be physically held in place to prevent her from going to her son to comfort him. “I’m hungry,” he kept repeating in a whimper.

“You’re safe, son,” Josiah crooned as he gently squeezed the ankle his hand rested on. “You’re safe.”

“How...you’re escaping. How are you doing that,” Chris asked, once Ezra had calmed.

“They’re taking me back to the room. MacDougall’s done questioning me for now. They push me in but they’re not tying my hands this time. My hands are free. There’s a window. I push it open and climb out. Everything’s so hazy, though. It’s hard to think.”

“I know it is, Ezra, but keep telling me what you’re doing.”

“There’s a road. I’m running up it and I see headlights in the distance. It’s a truck. It’s stopping. The driver wants to know if I need a ride. Take me to the federal building. They’ll protect me.” His voice trailed off to just louder than a whisper. “I don’t know who they are, but they’ll keep me safe.”

Again, Josiah gently squeezed his friend’s ankle. This time, it wasn’t to comfort Ezra, but to comfort himself that he was safe with them. He looked over to Chris and nodded slightly. Ezra’s words now confirmed what he’d told Chris earlier. They’d won Ezra’s trust and he knew he could come to them.

“We will keep you safe,” Chris stated. The tone of his voice conveyed that anything else was unacceptable to him. “Ezra, can you tell us what the evidence is that MacDougall thinks you have? You said you had information to pass on to me. What is it?”

Ezra’s brow quirked as he pondered the question. “A list of payoffs he’d made. A list of upcoming transactions. I should have sent you the information right away, but I was distracted.”

Chris had to resist the urge to agree with Ezra that it was information he should have passed on right away. It must have shown in his face because both the doctor and Josiah shook their heads at him. Instead, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. They needed to know what the information was. That was more important than a rebuke. “Where is it? Where did you put it?”

“It’s on a SIM card. I took photographs of pages in the book that had the information.”

The answer was a little more literal than necessary. “Where’s the SIM card,” Chris prompted.

“I didn’t want it to be any place obvious while I stepped out. I put it in the bottom of the box of trash bags. I didn’t think anyone would look for it there.”

Chris and Josiah traded looks. If the SIM card was still where Ezra had left it, it could have everything they needed to put MacDougall, or whatever his name was, away for a long time. That is, if Ezra hadn’t told MacDougall about it. “Ezra, did you tell MacDougall where it was? Does he know about the SIM card?”

“He knows about the photographs. He must have had someone watching me. I didn’t tell him where it was.” Ezra’s voice trailed off and he started to tense up again. “If I told him where it was, that would be like running out on you again. I promised you that would never happen. It didn’t matter how hungry I was or how much he had them hurt me. I promised you. I didn’t want to lose your respect.”

Silence fell over the room. Chris felt like he’d been gut punched. How had he missed it when Josiah had seen it clearly, had even tried to explain it to him the other day? He got up from where he was sitting and crouched by Ezra. He put out his hand to squeeze his shoulder, but stopped at the last second afraid of what the contact might do to Ezra in the state he was in. He looked over to Dr. Dawson and caught her nodding at him. When she did, he lightly squeezed Ezra’s shoulder. “I do respect you, Ezra. I don’t think I could have done what you did. You’re a good man. You have to trust me on that.”

“I do trust you, Chris.” The confidence in Ezra’s voice was unmistakable.

Before anyone could say anything, a ringing cellphone was heard. Maude quickly reached for her bag and pulled out the phone to silence it. When she did, she caught sight of the incoming caller and pulled in a quick breath. She started to say something, but Dr. Dawson held up a hand to silence her. “Ezra,” Dr. Dawson said as she got up from her chair and walked over to him. “I’m going to touch your hand again. When I do, you’ll be fully aware, and your memory will be sharp and clear.” She lightly touched Ezra’s hand. When she did his eyes blinked open. It was then that Maude finally spoke.

“It’s Amy. Clay’s sister.”


End file.
